Have been trying to catch up with school work hence the lack of entries.. S4 pwned! Yayy! I don't care that it's one of the easiest tutorials, it's still a good start aiight? Starting on S5, mann I think I'm getting the hang of hardcore mugging again :)
Been to the library thrice in the past week, trying to find the book to read. Nothing really interests me.. Bishan library is too darned small! But I've got F. Scott Fitzgerald's Tender is the Night, should be good?
I've got a uber looong entry for Nat'ls on the way.. could've been posted sooner but each time I go over the details I get lost in time
It's not over between me and rowing yet, how it ended was way to abrupt! I'm not sure how I can row again tho? What are my options? Join a club? Wait till I get into NUS? Just praying that You will lead me back to it somehow.. soonish. I really really really wanna row. It's not that I can't let go. Honest. I just wanna row, I love it. Do I have to justify that any further?
When I am alone When I’ve thrown off the weight of this crazy stone When I've lost all care for the things I own That's when I miss you, that's when I miss you, that's when I miss you You who are my home You who are my home And here is what I know now Here is what I know now Goes like this.. In your love, my salvation lies In your love, my salvation lies In your love, my salvation lies In your love, my salvation lies In your love, my salvation lies In your love, my salvation lies In your love, my salvation lies In your love, in your love, in your love
Orange Sky Alexi Murdoch
Anyways, tag replies :)
selene: heyy!! thanks :) anyway just wanted to say that u're a brave girl and u'll definitely go far! keep smiling for everyone! :) soo: thanks!! woah shangrila treat yo!! did yawl eat ur fill? treats fr Jiaolian don't come easy! :D siti: heyhey!! yes, u must keep up the fine tradition of the T-ONE-d sisters k! yayy! go for the gold yeah! 110% for evey trng! pushpushpush! :) bern: :) don't miss me too much, if our Alumni idea comes thru we'll still be able to row in the same waters and ride the same bus! :D vandepoot: LOL yufang: yup i rmb u! thanks :)
go to, then; your considerate stone. 8:40 AM
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11.7.07 Bring the Rain.
Last year, after one of the team talks, Muddy gave each of us one of these: And I'd written on the back, Which, fyi, is 2 Tim 4:7. Have I done that? Have I been a worthy competitor? I would like to think the answer is Yes, I'd given my all and even when things went wrong in the first 200m, I didn't stop there. I finished the race, and gave the rest a goood fight and that is that. ..Kept the faith? I have to admit at times it faltered. Like when I argued with You, Lord, in that last 300m. I didn't think You'd let things turn out this way.. I prayed so hard for no DQs at all and it just seemed like You'd promised. And I held on to that thread of hope all the way, refused to slow down because Lord I just wanted to believe that You'd deliver on a promise I thought You had made. Came on shore, screamed my lungs out for the other boats, if only to take my mind away from it.. Because You said to remove myself from situations that would tempt me..which in this case is to the temptation to fear and worry. Then Elisa came, and Mr Go came. And I just thought, Oh Lord, does it have to be so? If this is Your will for me, what are Your reasons? How can this be Your plan for me? I couldn't see anything. I had no way of figuring this out. And this I suppose, I dunno, I can only guess, is where Your reason lies. Somehow or other, I always thought I could figure all of Your plans out Lord. I was not humble enough before the majesty of Your Perfect Plan. I thought I could see all sides of everything predict everything before they come. It's easy to do that with all the birthday 'surprises', 'sneaky' plans that people have tried to spring on me from time to time (Rmb that time you gave me the CD, Chers? I admit now that I knew what you were planning on doing actually). But with You it's different. Your ways are too amazing and well planned for me to comprehend.
And I can only be thankful, it was only because of You that I didn't quit there and then, refused to slow the frequency.. If I were going out, then I'll make sure they have the hardest race I can offer them first. At least on that I can rest easy.
And now, in retrospective, it wasn't that You had promised me no DQs for RJ. What You had promised is that we will emerge victors in THE RACE OF LIFE. Canoeing is our PASSION (OH YES IT IS) but this is not our LIFE. You would put us thru firey trials so that we may be refined into pure gold, in preparation for our assignments in eternity. And what You've promised is blessing us with what we need to pass these tests, to overcome, because Lord You're a loving God. Maybe that's why I feel oddly at peace. ..Or at least the tears won't come anymore.
To the competitors in finals tomorrow, here's something modified from coach Taylor's speech in Facing the Giants,
For the rest of your life you are going to remember today. I want you to remember you held nothing back, did not lose heart, you did not stop fighting, you did not quit, because you wanted to HONOUR GOD.
Com'on RAFFLES CANOEING! We have nothing to lose.
___ Jave don't be angry with Him ok? I'm fine. We'll be fine. :) When the scar from the fall heals over, we know we've got stronger tissues in place of the old ones AND WE WILL STAND TALLER STILL. Anyways, here's something to chew on:
I can count a million times People asking me how I Can praise You with all that I've gone through The question just amazes me Can circumstances possibly Change who I forever am in You Maybe since my life was changed Long before these rainy days It's never really ever crossed my mind To turn my back on you, oh Lord My only shelter from the storm But instead I draw closer through these times So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace Bring the chance to be free Bring me anything that brings You glory And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of The dark clouds that may loom above Because You are much greater than my pain You who made a way for me By suffering Your destiny So tell me what's a little rain So I pray
Holy, holy, holy Is the Lord God Almighty
Bring the Rain MercyMe
Yeah what's a little rain when He's given me so much?
A NO-WORDS-CAN-DESCRIBE-HOW-AWESOME TEAM? Check.
TWO FAITHFUL BOATS that pull me thru nutstough trngs (Remember the 20k last year, Gideon? Or the 30-40-50-60-70-70-60-50-40-30X2 bursts, Gideon Jnr?) Check.
Trustfy paddle? Check.
UNBELIEVABLE, NEVER-DARED-TO-DREAM-ABOUT-IT timings for 2k (11.41 last year; 11.28-18-16-15-15 this year)? Check.
go to, then; your considerate stone. 9:22 PM
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8.7.07 Raffles RYw!
Rowed at Bedok for the first time yesterday. I thank God for showing us the worst side of it -- when it's raining and cold and muddy everywhere -- 'cause I know now that there's nothing to fear over there! :D Seriously, all the talk about the water being choppy and the wind being super strong.. Sure, it's true but I still love the conditions! Gideon Jnr and I love riding waves that's why :) The only problem is the buoys which are RAWR awful. I rowed too close to one of those big pink thingums and my paddle got entangled with the little white sausage-like buoy tied to it! (>.<) And the sheds weren't ready so we had to leave our boats lying around under trees.. I don't think there're monkeys in Bedok right? Or else they'd have a field day mann... Oh well. Just have to trust that God will go before us and prepare the place for us before the start of Nationals! :)
Anyway, after trng we went for team lunch at Han's at Century Square. Being considerate citizens and permanent residents of Singapore who are fully aware that paddles are weapons of mass destruction, we decided to set up camp outside where it's hot and smelly 'cause of people who wish to commit gradual suicide by means of smoking. But it was nice to tuck into meagre servings of food with my favourite company in the WWWorld :) And we had part I of Joo's birthday celebrations! Presented her with a peach tart and an orange version of Ultimate :D I got a slice of chocolate cake too tho my birthday's in 4 days' time.. THANKS DARLINGS! :)
Ah.. It's come to this then. We're nearing the last powerful stroke of our final burst. CRUNCH TIME. Are you excited? I am :) 'Cause I have a feeling we're gonna perform some miracles out there on the choppy waters of Bedok. Don't think I'll be coming online again anytime soon so I'll share some of the things I've been thinking of now.. they're thoughts from all over the place and I can't see any coherent way of organising them so I'll leave them in point form.
Fatigue is just a state of mind. When you're 1/2 way thru the maintenance phase of your race and a little voice inside your head tells you "I'm tired, let's slow this down a tad more", that's just what it is, a voice. You're physically able to push even further than that, really. Just think.. How many times has it happened: When someone shouts at you from the side of the lanes during trng to "Go faster!" and you find yourself speeding up? Clearly it's possible. So push on! ..and drown out that voice! Particularly if you believe that He is there with you in the boat :) Cry out to Him! Praise and honour Him! Anything to drown out that deceitful voice.. From The Purpose-Driven Life, "The secret of endurance is to remember that pain is temporary but your reward will be eternal."
Find your motivation in the things or Thing you believe in. Imba as you may be, you can't guarantee that you'd be the head of the pack all thru the race, but what's important is that at the times when you aren't, you refuse to give up..That you continue unfazed because you don't want to let down what you believe in. For me, I don't want to let my Personal Trainer down. He's blessed me with what I need to row, prepared me fully for the battle, put me thru fiery trials in order that I may emerge as or pur. It's time I thank Him for His love and faithfulness so there's no way on earth I am not going to put everything and more into the race. That means no tripping on moments of doubt, no turning to the left or right, but keeping my eyes focused on what's Above.
Whatever the outcome, I just want to be able to confirm that I've put up a good fight and that I've kept the faith. This at least is an aim that will give me no pressure because at the end of the day, I won't feel like I have to answer to anyone but Him.
Yeah ok some pretty incoherent thoughts.. Haha! Anyways, GODSPEED pple! Nationals 07 will be the best days of our lives! :)
go to, then; your considerate stone. 10:56 AM
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6.7.07 1 Cor 9:25 - 27
24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
go to, then; your considerate stone. 10:23 PM
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2.7.07 Praise You in the Storm
__15, and I really want to thank You. After what happened on Saturday and spending yesterday in a house full of rain clouds I didn't think I could make it today. I dreaded coming to trng even tho I was more than happy to leave the house.. Halfway through the 2k, I was ready to be satisfied with coming in second place after Ray but You carried me thru and we ended well. All I know is I'd harnessed the hurt and anger for the first half of the race and by 3/4 I was spent. Or sick of feeling angry. Whatever. And then You picked me up from where I laid, battered and worn, settled me on Your shoulders, and carried me through to the last 2 buoys. You alone understand. You alone.
I was thinking maybe it's because I'd learnt to compartmentalise my life. What's screwed up in section A can't spread its negative vibes to section B anymore 'cause I'd built a thick wall between them. But now I know it's not that, it's because You are faithful and You alone keep Your promises.
I will be patient. And I will not talk back. I will not let the hurt get the better of me. Because I'd promised You I'd be obedient, and since You're keeping Your promises, it's only fair I keep my end of it too.
Maureen, "You know that things aren't going well for you when you can't even tell people the simplest fact about your life, just because they'll presume you're asking them to feel sorry for you. I suppose it's why you feel so far away from everybody in the end; anything you can think of to tell them just ends up making them feel terrible."
go to, then; your considerate stone. 3:56 PM
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Et toutes mes peines
Child of God. 12th July 1989. RjcanYeist! 1/2 of Pundits of Pun. TIME Person of the Year 2006 ;) Orange! B&J's Chunky Monkey! Dark chocolates! Sleeping in on rainy days! Attention span of 600 goldfishes.
Trouveront l'oubli
Quand je trouverais l'amour
Untitled: Made this myself, with help from lj.com/fd, which in my humble opinion, remains forever awesome (again, my economics lecturer withers right down to his vegetarian roots). Oh and brushes <3.
Rowed at Bedok for the first time yesterday. I thank God for showing us the worst side of it -- when it's raining and cold and muddy everywhere -- 'cause I know now that there's nothing to fear over there! :D Seriously, all the talk about the water being choppy and the wind being super strong.. Sure, it's true but I still love the conditions! Gideon Jnr and I love riding waves that's why :) The only problem is the buoys which are RAWR awful. I rowed too close to one of those big pink thingums and my paddle got entangled with the little white sausage-like buoy tied to it! (>.<) And the sheds weren't ready so we had to leave our boats lying around under trees.. I don't think there're monkeys in Bedok right? Or else they'd have a field day mann... Oh well. Just have to trust that God will go before us and prepare the place for us before the start of Nationals! :)
Child of God. 12th July 1989. RjcanYeist! 1/2 of Pundits of Pun. TIME Person of the Year 2006 ;) Orange! B&J's Chunky Monkey! Dark chocolates! Sleeping in on rainy days! Attention span of 600 goldfishes.
